Thursday, 22 November 2012
She plays with the boys and goes for Sunday service with her grandmother, wearing her oversized frock, shiny black shoes and white socks with the pink flowers sewn to the sides..
She doesn't know who she is; she's never wondered. She's never cared.
She's too young to know that there are questions she must ask.
On weekdays, school is a nuisance so she and her friends skip classes to go play by the rubbish heaps
She loves her world, it's all she knows.
At lunch, she goes to buy rice and stew with the coin her grandmother gave her. "Don't give me meat," she says.
She'd rather have more rice.
Weekends are fun. See, on weekends she gets to cook with her grandmother,
she loves palmnut soup.
On weekends she gets to go to the farm with her grandmother
She loves her grandmother.
The farm is far, far, far away, hours from home, but they make the trek.
Nature is wonderful, she catches grasshoppers and helps to sow seeds in the land they tilled the week before.
Now it's lunch time, she roasts some yam on an open fire and goes to drink water from a stream
It's a beautiful life.
Or is it?
A storm breaks out, it's time to head home.
Grandmother and granddaughter, each with a stack of firewood on her head,
One in front of the other, leading the way home,
Far, far, far away.
The wind is getting stronger, it's serious now.
The rain pelts down, drenching grandmother and the little girl.
A large tree falls down, it was a close call.
It's not so beautiful any more.
They get home safely,
only to discover that the rain invited itself in.
Everything is ruined, soaking wet. The entire house is flooded.
As neighbours gather to lend helping hands,
Grandmother takes her little girl by the hand and walks her to their neighbour's house.
She says, "you're sleeping here till this is all sorted out."
Little girl nods.
That first night she sleeps on the floor with one other girl and three boys, the neighbour's children.
It is certainly not the Ritz, but it's dry. And warm.
It's been a long day and she's tired; she's nodding off.
But he won't let her, that boy. The oldest son,
He won't let her sleep.
He pulls her close and pulls up her dress.
She's confused, why is he doing this to her?
She tries to get up, he pulls her back down.
She's 5 years old, she's scared. Terrified.
Are the others dead? No one seems to be waking up.
Why aren't they waking up?
He pushes her panties down, she tries to stop him.
He pushes them down anyway,
And then he ruins her.
With his finger, he ruins her.
She's not a little girl any more.
Something has died.
He killed it.
Friday, 27 April 2012
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Have an open mind for this post.
Religion is such a touchy subject. People tend to get really defensive
when you talk about their beliefs negatively. I won't say I get mad,
but I will admit not being pleased when someone once said something
awful about the things I believe in.
What's your religion? I'm a Christian. I won't lie, I'm probably a
Christian ONLY BECAUSE my parents are Christians. They did the whole
baptism thingy, then I got confirmed after months of boring classes.
The highlight of my Confirmation was the party they had for me. Aren't
I just awful? Shouldn't I have been ecstatic that I was finally a full
child of God or whatever it is that is symbolic of a Confirmation?
I have an ex-boyfriend who's Muslim. We had a few conversations about
his religion and mine. Thing is, he used to go to church, and he
believed, then he began to study Islam. Well that's what he said. I'm
sure he just read a coupla (verses??) In the Quran and thought he had
it all figured out. Well anyway, he decided he'd opt for the
religion that requires you to pray 7 times a day in a particular
direction. That's all well and good.
His argument was he knew about both religions and had chosen the one
that made more sense to him. I didn't have a reason. I was simply born
a Christian. My only knowledge of Islam is from JSS, during Religious
and Moral Education, where half the time, my mind was a million miles
away. Oh wait, except for that one time where the teacher pissed his
pants. I couldn't miss that.
Now is it just me or are Catholics really short-tempered when you
question their practises? I didn't know anything about them till I got
to St Roses (cassava anyone? -_-). Maaaaan. I thought they were the
weirdest bunch of people ever! We had specific prayers for everything.
At three particular moments every day, we had to stand still like
robots and recite the Angelus. I really didn't see the point. And when
Pope John Paul died? My kness still haven't recovered from the number
of times we had to kneel down and get back up again.
Like any other person, I had my questions. There were times they'd put
a veil on the statue of Mary, then we'd go around the school [holding
candles] reciting some type of prayers, if my memory serves me right.
As usual, I tried to use that time to crack jokes. The knock I got
from a Nun wiped the stupid grin from my face. Those people are really
Sooooooo, I'm not trying to be controversial or anything but another
thing I don't get about Catholics is why Priests stay bum-sexing alter
boys. Like, that's the ultimate sin in my book. Sodomizing +
Fornicating? Whooooooo!!! you're a very bad boy! Some Catholics will
deny this. If that helps you sleep at night, then by all means, deny
away. I know pastors and leaders of other types of denominations get
up to some sinful i-know-im-going-straight-to-hell typa stuff, but
those almost always end up in the newspapers!!!
I watched this documentary on Crime & Investigation where they talked
about the Catholic church and how it just let's Priests get away with
crimes. If you're homophobic and you want someone to blame, blame
Priests who sodomize little boys! I bet that's how a whole bunch of
them became gay- my opinion -_-. But yeah, instead of the Priest
paying for his actions, he's shipped off to some other place where
there are fresh buttocks to partake of.
'The Da Vinci Code' and 'Angels and Demons' do Catholics no justice.
Lol never try watching those with one. Big mistake. They get angry at
Ever been at home or in your hostel room, and people come a-knocking,
wanting to talk to you about God and how much He loves you? I avoid
these people as much as possible. It's my point of view that the load
of these 'Jesus Freaks' are the most hypocritical of people out there.
I know this pastor who'd have things to do with different girls, and
whenever there was a crusade or an all-night service, he'd go with the
only he had recently fornicated with. LOL obi a soma wo? Tsk tsk.
I've grown up with so many different types of people around me. My
childhood bestfriend is now atheist and I've had so many people tell
me "I don't know about religion anymore. I have too many doubts and
too many questions, so I'd rather not have a religion"- I understand
What's your religion? Do you believe in everything you've been told
and taught? Do you have any doubts? What makes you think that YOUR
religion is the right religion? IS THERE a 'right religion'? Do you
think that maybe religion is so popular because of our natural need to
be guided, to be forgiven or to be loved? Religion provides a sense of
belongingness, a safety net.
I'm at that point where I'm deeply confused. Religious people are
gonna tell you "you just have no faith". I can bet my last knickers on
the fact that a bunch of you are judging me. Wait, isn't that a sin
though? Now you have to pray for forgiveness. And the cycle continues
Religion is just complicated.
Here are a few quotes by some famous people:
Faith means not wanting to know what is true. — Friedrich Nietzsche
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the
point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. —
George Bernard Shaw
All thinking men are atheists. — Ernest Hemingway
Do you agree with any of these? Are you struggling in your faith? I
am, and I'm not afraid to say so.
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