This is a fairly short post...
I love being by myself, a lot of people have that in common with me. I
don't think that's how I am naturally though, I was alone a lot
growing up so I got used to it and inevitably fell in love with my
Some days though, and some nights, I'd rather not be by myself. Those
nights when I have nothing to do and memories creep up on me. Isn't it
weird how it's usually the things you've tried your hardest to forget
that insist on resurfacing? Cruel act of nature or whatever the hell
is responsible for that.
All attempts at distracting myself fail at this point. It's like when
you need people most and they do a disappearing act on you. Remaining
positive is something I've realized helps me cope. It's hard to see
the glass as half full (yes,that's cliche,I'm aware) but it's
depressing and pointless to be negative.
So back to last night..I cried. Everything I fear, everything that's
ever hurt me, everything that isn't right, caught up with me. And I
cried. Let's call it a pity party. I indulged like a fat kid at an all
you can eat buffet. There's a lot going on in my life I won't share
with you nosey fuckers, but I will tell you that I have a long journey
ahead of me. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
Someone I deem wise told me "You crying means you're afraid. It means
you're not stupid to believe that things are gonna be easy"....So I
cried a little more to be doubly sure that it be known that I'm no
fool. Nanama is NOT a fool (despite what you may have heard).
I'm trying to be strong. I'm scared. I'm trying to be calm. I can't
solve all my problems, but I'm hoping that someday I can look back at
my life and be thankful for the tranformation from where I was to
where I will be :-)
Help me hope. Watch me grow xoxo.
Sent from my mobile device