Saturday 13 August 2011

sex,sex,SEX.

This post was supposed to be crude.it didn't quite get there.forgive me.

Growing up,sex was never a forbidden topic in our house.When we asked questions,my parents always answered.But it wasn't until i was older that i realized they had lied to me a zillion times.first they said babies came from storks,those birds with the large beaks.Then they said babies magically appeared in a woman's tummy.Can't really blame them.At least they told me the truth eventually.

What exactly is sex though?Is it for entertainment?People in the villages must certainly think so.why,i bet when they run out of ananse stories to tell around an open fire,they orgies and stuff instead.Anyhoo,back to my question.Is it just for procreation?Pleasure?Exercise?Can't it be all of them?

i'll neglect to share my sexual experiences with you guys.Though i will tell you that...nah,forget it.You know those 'goody-two-shoes-can-never-surprise' kind of girls?Be afraid of them.The ones who keep quiet during a sex talk and act as though they know nothing?They're the worst.I never get girls who act innocent,when they're not.

Apparently,some girls think of sex as a chore.i talked to a couple of girls a while ago and they didn't even know what an orgasm was.like seriously??what have they been doing?who have they been sleeping with?And this one girl,she does it only cos her boyfriend wants to.She said to me "i just lie there and spread my legs,when he's done,i get up".i wanted to cry.Why bother?why have your vagina beaten up when you don't even want it to begin with?

And the girls who fake orgasms..take this scenario: A boy and  girl,they're having sex,on a bed.She's lyng underneath him like a log,he's pumping away like there's no tomorrow.In her head she's probably thinking "when is this idiot gonna be done?i have dishes to wash and tom and jerry is coming on in 15 minutes".She has two choices;
1.show him what she wants him to do to her body
2.fake an orgasm
She picks door number two.She 'oooohs' and 'aaaaahs' and moans.then she 'cums'.By this time,the boy's probably got a stupid grin on his face,he's proud of himself and he's thinking "i tore that pussy up!".The fool.I don't understand how you can be doing such a lousy job and not know it.Is it some type of stupidity?Or just a need to elevate from the truth to avoid bruising your own ego?

I'm not saying don't fake orgasms.hell i really don't care.it's your vagina,do what you want.but you should know you're only cheating yourself in the end,sucker.Not to mention,some poor guy is gonna walk around thinking he's a stud,until he meets and shags a girl who knows what she's about and isn't afraid to tell him exactly what she thinks.then he's just gonna be embarrassed.You could've helped him.Help a dick today.Better a dick today.Teach a dick today.don't fake anything, unless it's  menstrual cramps to get out of taking some test.

My parents had this kama sutra book they kept under their bed years ago.the positions! -__________- i try not to think about what they used it for.You shouldn't think about it either,you rotten people.They don't know that i knew about it, and it's probably a bad idea to be writing about it. they might chance upon this blog and my secret would be out in the open.ah well,i'll take my chances.

So these positions.You guys should try them. I don't think missionary is a bad position,i quite like it.But it's not the only position.

Just one more thing before i go.We were having dinner one night.My brother,who was 11 at the time turned to my dad and said "daddy,my penis won't get hard,i think it's broken".I had water in my mouth which mysteriously found its way onto my sister's face.Memorable moment.You care.goodbye.

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