When i was 'in love' i used to cook for my boyfriend.Not exactly outrageous but a very big deal to people who know me.See,the kitchen and i don't get along so well and the knives just hate my guts.Don't get me wrong,i'm a darn good cook,i just don't like doing it -_-
Love heals.I know this because i've seen it happen,to me and to people around me.But it also frigging hurts.Right from when you have this major crush on some boy in your class who doesn't even know you exist, even though you do your hair really nice and you borrow mum's perfume( i am NOT speaking from experience,a friend told me -__-).So yeah,love hurts,love heals.But it also destructs.
Growing up,there was this pretty little lady who babysat my sister during the week.She had two adorable kids of her own and they all got along really well.Now,i was young and all but i hardly missed whatever went on around me.She was always smiling but she had the saddest look in her eyes,the saddest.Sometimes,i would catch my mum giving her a hug and speaking to her in a low tone and it set my mind wondering "what could be wrong?"
I heard her story eventually and at the time i sort of regretted asking my mum cos it was so pathetic.But i guess it made me realize at such an early age that things aren't always as they seem.An abusive husband!!!!!She married a man she loved,hoping to have her feelings reciprocated,only to find out she was on a sinking ship.
It started not long after they got married.He would beat her and make her sleep on the floor.He beat her when she was pregnant with both kids,he beat her regardless of what state of health she was in.He beat her during sex.He raped her......She'd make food and she wouldn't be allowed to eat any.He'd come home,give some to the kids,and leave her the leftovers.She slept on the kids' bedroom floor because he wouldn't allow her into their matrimonial bed....He raped her....RAPE people!RAPE.This sounds like something straight out of one of those ridiculous Nigerian movies (don't be offended,we all know they suck and kill your brain cells)
But you know,the part i couldn't get over was her reason for staying in it.SHE LOVED HIM.I'm reeling over here!!!!!!!!!!How do you love someone who belittles you?Someone who makes you feel less of a human being?Someone who's very shadow makes you tremble with fear?Who's words cut you so deep?She was in it for years and years.
Good news is,she finally found her voice and went to the police.She saved herself and her kids from that sorry excuse for a human being and a total waste of oxygen (yes,i'm mad).BUT what worries me now is that i have friends who are just waltzing into situations like this.Sure it's not full blown punches to the stomach or slaps that will send you flying across the room,but a large fire begins as a flame.
Those demeaning comments he/she makes about you.That occasional slap just because you didn't do it his way.The glare that makes your skin crawl.They are all signs that you should run in the opposite direction.But sadly,signs that most people are blind to because of LOVE -_______- I hope none of you reading this are going through these things.But if you are,i do hope that you love yourself enough to get out.
AND if you're reading this and you are the pig i've described,you're a lowlife scumbag who shouldn't even be blessed with life.No one can create a human being so no one has the right to make another person's life a living hell.May you never know happiness when all you cause is pain.
“Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars. It is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return.......” – Dianne Feinstein
Our hearts still beat.We have life.We must live it.Without fear of another human being.
I have this urge to shake this"love" out of the women. the way I see it, its dependence + habit + fear + nostalgia that many mistake for love. i pray more women find the courage to get out of shitty relationships before it is too late.
ReplyDeletei couldn't have put it better myself.you've said it all.
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